Categotry Archives: Musings

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I just love, love.

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Slut.. According to the Oxford dictionary it is a derogatory term for a woman with lots of sexual partners.

A slut is a woman who likes sex, enjoys sex and isn’t ashamed to admit it. She is easy and gets around or frigid as she refuses to sleep with everything with a pulse, open to be attacked and the subject of many opinions. She. A slut is female. Men aren’t seen as sluts, let alone labelled as one. Slept with 40 women?What a guy. Slept with the same amount of people as a woman, woah, you slut!!! Harsh much?

Over the years I’ve been called a slut for various reasons. I’m a tall and busty girl, a little too squishy in the centre but I own a killer set of legs. I often wear skirts over trousers, and I’m not afraid to embrace my cleavage on the odd night out. Apparently this has made me a slut on so many occassions. God forbid I flash a bit of flesh, yet I’m not one to go out with it all on show. I have had a varied and amazing sex life, so I must be a slut. I love erotica and am a kinkster, so automatically I am a filthy slut who must always be “up for it” and when I’m not, I become a “frigid slut” or a cocktease. Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know I was here for your amusement and am to bend to the will of every person on the planet. Men and women have called me a slut over the years, and it’s a term I’ve often let bounce off,  it’s a word, not a label for me.

I asked my main twitter followers what makes a woman a slut. I smiled and felt so proud when the most common answer was “nothing” . It is a term often used as an insult, yet some say it should be a badge of honour.  Many see it as an outdated term, used towards a woman who dares to think or mention her love of sex, its seen as a sexist attack and as a double standard.  I don’t need a label to be proud of loving sex, whether with one person or many man or women or both. My sexual life and choices are just those. Mine. This doesn’t mean I’m a slut. It means I’m just a modern woman who is comfortable with her choices.

The term slut appears everywhere these days. The song on this page is one of my favourites, I feel Pink has the perfect attitude and this is a kind of “fuck you and your stereotyping”. Rizzle Kicks released Lost Generation and I clapped when I first heard the words “what’s wrong if a girl loves sex, it’s only wrong if it’s not with you, so maybe you should get better in bed” I salute you boys, for pointing out that being a slut is all good if you’re male in societies eyes, but not if you’re female. Loving sex shouldn’t carry different stigmas for different genders.

I’m not a fan of the term slut, but there is something I despise a lot more. And I mean a lot. Slut-shaming. When did it become acceptable to attack a woman based on her sexual likes or desires. Her thoughts, attitudes or even her way of dressing..

“Look at her skirt, the dumb slut”

“You don’t want to fuck me? What makes a slut like you think you’re worthy of me anyway”

“Another man? Wow, you are such a slut!”

“How many guys is that slut going to talk to tonight? Who doies she think she is?!”

Slut shaming is so wide spread these days, from celebrities to your girl next door. Admit you are bisexual and the media will climb over it like flies over crap. Bi? Oooh, such a slutty way of life! unable to settle? tut tut, such a loose woman…slut.  Girls who post pictures on any social media platform are likely to be subjected to slut shaming, whether by jealousy or just pure childish behaviour. No one should judge how a girl or guy chooses to be. If they want to be open to sex, then salute them! Enjoy experimenting? Carry on!! But don’t ever feel you should conform to a label. Small mindedness is still far too common in this day and age, with people being attacked for their choices, their lifestyles. Screw the petty individuals.

Guess what, world. I’m SJ and I really, really love sex.

Am I a slut? no, as Pink said herself…I’m not a slut, I just love, love.

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Simple desires

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I adore sex. Everything about it. The intimacy, the lust, the way your heart races and breath quickens as each orgasm edges closer and closer. I love how it brings you closer to the person, be it in a relationship or just a lust driven fuck. It takes away that feeling of lonliness and your endorphins are so high, you feel you can fly.

 

Sex has been a major part of me and my life for over a decade. I’m a very sexual being, but when that feeling goes, I know something is wrong. And right now, something is wrong. I’ve been losing my drive, my kink and animalistic desires are few and far between. Mental health has a major impact on sex, and for me I end up feeling like I can’t be sexy, or beautiful, I’m not attractive or desirable. I used to agree with this, and lock down and lock away. Instead, the gorgeous lingerie is coming out, the stockings and hold ups kiss my skin and the sway of my hips is as strong as ever. For me, sex is a basic need. Like air. Or food. This time, I refuse to just let the darkness swallow me, instead I’ll keep it at bay. One touch, one kiss, one orgasm at a time.

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A few words…

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I like the new year. For me it’s a chance to clean out my space, my mind and to make plans for the time ahead. I don’t really do resolutions, but I like to look at the first 4 months and decide what I would like to achieve.

I started this website nearly a year ago, and I often let things get in the way, which sadly led to it being unloved and neglected. I kept setting silly little things and saying I would write more, but I didn’t. Shame on me bends and hands the paddle for punishment

I love writing erotica, seeing the words glow in front of me and knowing that someone, somewhere is enjoying the glimpse inside my mind. I was debating on writing for this site only, but I have some ideas for my year and for this site.

I will continue to add brief stories here, poems and pictures, but I want to also do a few reviews too. I am working on a collection of short stories, with the possibility of developing them into a novel. I will be asking for proof readers at times, and also teasing with excerpts as I want to keep people interested. I have plans to expand previous stories and hope to take part in many more memes as I gain confidence in my writing…

So, here is to 2014, may it be full of lust and wonder and many beautiful words…

20140103-171913.jpgwell,start as you mean to go on…

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Desire

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Desire. A simple word.

de·sire (d-zr)
tr.v. de·sired, de·sir·ing, de·sires
1. To wish or long for; want.
2. To express a wish for; request.

 

n. 1. A wish or longing.
2. A request or petition.
3. The object of longing: My greatest desire is to go back home.
4. Sexual appetite; passion.

 

I have a longing. An ache. A desire to feed and a fantasy to fulfill.

I want to be able to submit. No holding back, no qualms, no questions. To feel safe as I fall to my knees and to be ordered to do whatever it is that is asked of me. To hold my breath with anticipation, as I wait for the next sting of a palm; a whip; a paddle against my skin, the sting that makes me gasp, quickly followed by a sigh of content.

To be at the mercy of you and your darkest desires, your devious side taking over and consuming me with each action.  Feeling your teeth graze my skin, finding my erogenous zones and making them sing. I long to feel your hand in my hair, pulling it tightly as your lips bruise mine. Your hand forcing my tender thighs apart as your fingers graze my sensitive clit, throbbing from being spanked and pinched. To straddle you, skin touching and that wanton desire taking over, leading us into a rhythm as we go from play to penetration, from two souls finding a way in the dark and ending as one. To be sated. By you.

 

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Four Simple Letters..

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BDSM.  Four small, innocent looking letters of the alphabet, and they are.. most of the time.

Bondage
Dominance/Discipline
Sadism
Masochism.

Not looking quite so sweet now, are they.
What is BDSM?  Well if you ask Wikipedia..

BDSM represents a continuum of practices and expressions, both erotic and non-erotic, involving restraint, sensory stimulation, role-playing, and a variety of interpersonal dynamics

I can agree with this. BDSM these days seems to be an umbrella term, that covers so many aspects of what many people label kink. It means different things to different people, a love of rubber and latex, cross dressing or gender reversal. It could be the power play of a Dominant and submissive, the art of shibari and rope play; the various aspects of bondage. Sadists, masochist and switches; pegging, pain and humiliation. All of these are part of BDSM.

What is BDSM to me? Do I engage in it? Yes, I do. Do I have a specific role? No. I love so many different elements of it. I love handing myself over to the trusted person and submitting to them. I love to take control, decide how things will play out. I enjoy feeling a paddle as it meets my skin and makes me whimper, to bite and mark when the power is mine or is being shared. The lust, trust and freedom I get from release and letting go. Trust, for me is a major player. I need to know there is a strong bond and a trust that can’t be wavered. A safe word may be used when trying out something new, or even in something well-practiced, lines are there though not obvious as trust allows us to be free.

I decided to ask the wonderful world of Twitter what BDSM means to them.
For some it was the tools, the implements.
“Ball gags”
“Diamond butt plugs”
“Nipple clamps and cat-o-nine tails”
Others used words to describe the feeling, the sensations.
“Pleasure & Pain”
“Satisfaction”
“A fun night out”
“A fun night in”
“Emotional bliss”
” A trusting bond”

Some people dabble in it, for others it’s their lifestyle, it makes them exactly who they are. For me, it’s a part of me, of my life but it hasn’t defined me. For me, and others, there are so many aspects of BDSM that I doubt anyone will ever explore them all. It’s a wonderful huge candy store, with things to play with, and so many outcomes out there. I have tried some things, but I know there are many more I want to experience, there is no rush, no time limit.
So, BDSM; What does it mean to me?
It means trust, communication. It means pleasure, pain and excitment. I don’t think it needs a specific label, a title for everyone. It’s freedom to be you, an art of expression.
Bondage Dominance/Discipline Sadism Masochism – Beauty Darkness Sensations Memories.

I think I’m going to go find my paddle and assume the position now…

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The perfect weapon

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Categories: Musings

Today I did something mundane. I sorted out my underwear drawer. You see, I love lingerie, it’s one of my biggest extravagances in life and there is only one reason I’ve stopped buying any. I’ve run out of room. Seriously. My bras possess their own drawer, and are lined up like pretty not so little soldiers, ready and waiting to be plucked and adorn my pale skin. I own everything from red silk to coral lace, whites, yellows, blacks and blues. I have them. Why do I have so many? It’s simple. I love how a good set can make me feel. The way the silk sets all brush my skin, pushing my breasts together and framing them in wonderfully coloured fabric, begging to be touched. The playful lace in coral, blue or black, decorating my derrière in such a manner I am tempted to show it off. The suspender sets, perfect for finishing off a look as I clip on the seamed stockings, the lines leading towards my little bum. Believe me, even the comic pants have their place. I have often had men grinning as I shimmy out of jeans and they see Wonder Woman posing on my behind. It’s sexy in its own way, but probably not what I’d wear with an LBD…
So, whatever you do, always wear decent underwear, ladies it is your perfect weapon for seduction. You can tease as you slowly roll your stockings down, seduce as ease off those lace/silk/cookie monster shorts and keep your lover mesmerised as you slip off that beautiful bra. You have a gorgeous body, arm it well.

20130415-155811.jpg eeny meeny miney mo..

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Confessions

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Categories: Home Page, Musings

Recently, I’ve had a major curveball hit me between the eyes. Honestly, it’s left me reeling and overwhelmed and made things, such as my writing, suffer in a major way. At the same time, its kind of given me a chance to reflect on my writing, my words. Where do I want to go with them, what would I like to achieve.

I love writing. I love putting the fantasies that myself, and others have, into words. I love knowing that the readers of my work feel arousal and such from my words, the enticement caused by each tap of my keys is spread through their body like a delicious fever. So, what point am I getting to exactly? Well, I’m setting myself a little task. A story a fortnight is to hit this website, and if all goes well, one a week is easily achievable. I have so many ideas in my head, it’s hardly as if I’m lacking inspiration. Perhaps I have too much, but I doubt that. I just need to focus on one at a time. There are boundaries to push, lines to cross and desires to spark.  I hope to ignite the fire in all of you soon.

I also like challenges, so I ask you. Give me an idea, a boundary to push. a fantasy to put into words that could leave people wanting more, or even feeling dirty for enjoying..

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What is Sex?

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Categories: Musings

To you, I mean. What does it mean for you?

For some it is as simple as an animal driven desire, an urge that needs to be filled, an itch to scratch. To others it’s a connection, a way to show love for the person they are with. What does sex mean to me? Well, it means a lot of things. But I’m a complicated girl. Sex is a pleasure, something I enjoy and depending the circumstance it can mean many a thing. With a partner sex has many roles for me; a way to be close to them, a connection between the two of us, fulfilling a desire they give me.

Then there is sexual tension lust filled pure fucking, the type you have with someone who sets a fire burning deep in your stomach that creeps between your thighs as you look at them, but you know it is purely a sex based thing for you, not the base of a relationship. The type of sex that leaves you sated, aching and breathless. I’m not saying you can;t get the same sex in a relationship but this type just feels different. Some people use sex as a way of being “liked”. They feel that as a person they have nothing to offer but in the bedroom.

Others use it as a reward, or a weapon. Sex is a weird thing really. But so enjoyable. It is such as expansive thing, and there is always new ways and techniques you can learn, but to me there is one key point. It should always be enjoyed, never feared. Is there such a thing as bad sex? Oh, hell yes! Do I regret the bad sex? No, it taught me to be more particular, to be vocal and when the guy is going hell for leather but missing the spot, I learnt to kick them off and finish myself off, but that is another story for another day…

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What’s your role

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So, I was all set to write a blog about my desire for Wax play when I was asked again to be a Domme last night. It seems a few people see me in this kind of role and it got me thinking, are we as we seem or are labels handed out in the kink world and world of sex far too easily?

I’m often told I would make a great Dominatrix, because of how I look. People Picture me in latex and fuck me shoes, welding a whip and barking at subs or slaves, telling them how good or bad they are. Honestly? I’m not a Domme, I’m not a true Sub either. Does this make me a switch? I considered this too. My head reeled with labels after this. Am I a sadist, as I like to degrade or get pleasure from certain aspects of degrading during sex? No. Am I a masochist as I like being controlled with some pain and such? Again, I don’t think so. There are so many boxes and labels people use these days, it’s easy to wonder if and where you really fit in an erotic/kink/fetish kind of world. It was such thoughts actually, that made me pull away from many outlets and groups of wonderful people last year. I started to consider that if I was none of the “usual labels” then maybe it meant I was trying to be where I didn’t belong, where I wasn’t welcomed. So who am I? I guess I’m a little of most labels rolled into one.
I’m an exhibitionist; I love people getting pleasure from pictures of me.
I’m a switch; giving and receiving pleasure and pain are major things for me. Tie me down and spank me or let me leave you with marks and signs of me desire, either way I’m happy.
I’m Curious; suggest things to me, plant seeds in my mind and let them grow.
Overall, I’m just filth. But we knew that anyway..

Whatever you do, don’t try and box me.. Unless it’s a fantasy of mine of course

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Fifty Shades review…

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Categories: Musings

Today let’s do something different on here. Let’s review the latest phenomenon…

Unless you have been on the moon; in a coma or just oblivious to everything in the world, it has been near impossible to miss the latest big hit in the literacy world. They hit the shelves, the e- books and everything in between in a flurry of dark covers, embraced with grey/silver images.  I am of course, talking about E.L.James’ Fifty shades trilogy.  The reaction was overwhelming; women everywhere seemed to love the “clit lit”, the erotica that involved a little added extra from your typical Mills & Boons. Honestly, I had no desire to read them. When it comes to hype, I go the opposite way. Can you keep a secret? I avoided Titanic for a decade. I don’t like mass hype over something, as more often than not it won’t live up to it. There are exceptions to the rules mind, but I knew deep down, these books wouldn’t be an exception. The whole inspiration for these books is the Twilight saga. This instantly made me groan inwardly. I’ll admit I’ve read 3 ½ (yes a half, my book fell apart) of the twilight saga, and for what it was I didn’t mind it. But, it should have been left there. See, when you write fan fiction, the likes of fifty shades is born.
Fifty shades came crashing in as a top seller the day they were released. Housewives and frustrated women everywhere were clamouring over one another to read these books. I really had no interest in them whatsoever. As I said, I’m not a fan of hype.  Yet, the more great reviews it got, made me wonder why. Then likeminded friends started reading it, and in my eyes, the real reviews came around. I still was unsure; the mixed reviews were making me uncertain as to whether I wanted to taint my mind with this trilogy. So, why did I? For a few reasons; One, I was asked by various friends and such, to read it and give my honest opinion, which is what this here review is all about. Two, I had to know, are they that empowering? Did they really open the eyes to Kink? And three, I’m a glutton for punishment, I really am. So, a friend gives them to me, all ready for my kindle.  I tell myself they can’t be that bad, surely..
Fifty shades of Grey, is the story in which soon to be college graduate, Anastasia Steele, has a chance meeting with the all rich, powerful and much desired after bachelor, Christian Grey, when she has to step in for a friend to do an interview for a college paper.  Her first impression is set as she falls into his office. Little does she know, the moment she stumbled on to his floor, he wanted her in his world. The story progresses through their relationship from her losing her virginity to him, Christian wanting to dominate her and as time goes on, so much more. Not too bad, right? Wrong! Why? Not because of the basic idea, to me that has potential. My issues run a lot deeper.
Let’s start with Ana;
  • ·         No one that self-loathing and simpering could get a super-hot boyfriend, let alone a rich and handsome Dom.
  • ·         The constant crying, I mean, really?! Is there anything she doesn;t suddenly start sobbing over. His beauty, his pain. His palm..
  • ·         The way she is portrayed as a whole. To me, that is not a heroine, it is a guide to how NOT to be.
Do I have faults with Christian? Hmm..
  • ·         For a Dom he is very paranoid.  I agree with caring for your sub, but not hacking into her personal details and accounts.
  • ·         Care for your sub, lavish her with gifts, but even a sub needs privacy and personal space.
  • ·         The whole being damaged thing, leading to being a Dom felt so clichéd. Most Dom’s I know aren’t damaged. It put me off a touch. Try and be original…
Then we touch on the dialogue. I say dialogue in the loosest term possible. “Stop biting your lip” was often followed with “you know what it does to me”. I used to be an innocent lip biter when deep in thought, now I find myself doing it and grumble. Along with the constant input from her “inner goddess” and her highly opinionated “subconscious” I found it easy to loathe Ana, which I’m sure many others love. She lacks so much, including any personality, and it has made me consider how I like to find women in such writings. Women, as sexual beings, are beautiful strong creatures; this just robbed her of all dignity and left us with little more than a constantly crying, petulant brat.  Not the feisty kind of woman, you would willingly spank as she has a tendency to purposefully disobey. Ana had one. It was just buried in snot and tears. The way Christian often seemed to speak down to her annoyed me too. Yes, she was a young woman, but not a simpleton. A man talks to me like I’m slightly special, and I walk away.
I have to confess the choice of words used in the trilogy made me groan. Women have a clit. This word was used. Women have a vagina. This often referred to by many handles; a cunt, fanny, pussy, yes even a vagina. But constantly calling it “my sex”. Seriously?! I laughed the first time. This isn’t a term I would ever expect in such writing.  It’s as if mentioning the word “vagina” would cause Ms James to blush! Call it what it is dear, you have mentioned “kinky fuckery” calling a cunt a cunt, isn’t really going to cause any added blushing. In general I found much of the language lazy, so much was constantly repeated and at times I was wondering if I had gone backwards, not forwards in the books. Overall the whole trilogy felt clumsy. There was no smooth flow between scenes, one minute Ana would be about to fuck Christian, then literally the next line would be about her drinking coffee in a meeting. Total mind fuckery, I tell ya! Finish the scene, make it flow then start the next scene  with another chapter!
My overall opinion is that this was a story with potential that was so poorly executed. Obviously, I’m in the minority with this thought, as E.L.James is worth about £4mill, which for stories based on her love of the relationship of Edward and Bella in Twilight, is good going. Good luck to her, and her varied success but my final word of advice. If you want to read REAL erotica, go for something like “women on top” by Nancy Friday. Try the wonderful words from “Girl with a one track mind”, but please don’t come and tell me that the fifty shades books are amazing, modern day erotica, when to me they are little more than a tittering girl wishing to play with a tie and some whips..
Now please excuse me whilst I fill my mind with real erotica. And maybe some delicious, deep, dirty smut..
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