April 17, 2013 by

Four Simple Letters..


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BDSM.  Four small, innocent looking letters of the alphabet, and they are.. most of the time.


Not looking quite so sweet now, are they.
What is BDSM?  Well if you ask Wikipedia..

BDSM represents a continuum of practices and expressions, both erotic and non-erotic, involving restraint, sensory stimulation, role-playing, and a variety of interpersonal dynamics

I can agree with this. BDSM these days seems to be an umbrella term, that covers so many aspects of what many people label kink. It means different things to different people, a love of rubber and latex, cross dressing or gender reversal. It could be the power play of a Dominant and submissive, the art of shibari and rope play; the various aspects of bondage. Sadists, masochist and switches; pegging, pain and humiliation. All of these are part of BDSM.

What is BDSM to me? Do I engage in it? Yes, I do. Do I have a specific role? No. I love so many different elements of it. I love handing myself over to the trusted person and submitting to them. I love to take control, decide how things will play out. I enjoy feeling a paddle as it meets my skin and makes me whimper, to bite and mark when the power is mine or is being shared. The lust, trust and freedom I get from release and letting go. Trust, for me is a major player. I need to know there is a strong bond and a trust that can’t be wavered. A safe word may be used when trying out something new, or even in something well-practiced, lines are there though not obvious as trust allows us to be free.

I decided to ask the wonderful world of Twitter what BDSM means to them.
For some it was the tools, the implements.
“Ball gags”
“Diamond butt plugs”
“Nipple clamps and cat-o-nine tails”
Others used words to describe the feeling, the sensations.
“Pleasure & Pain”
“A fun night out”
“A fun night in”
“Emotional bliss”
” A trusting bond”

Some people dabble in it, for others it’s their lifestyle, it makes them exactly who they are. For me, it’s a part of me, of my life but it hasn’t defined me. For me, and others, there are so many aspects of BDSM that I doubt anyone will ever explore them all. It’s a wonderful huge candy store, with things to play with, and so many outcomes out there. I have tried some things, but I know there are many more I want to experience, there is no rush, no time limit.
So, BDSM; What does it mean to me?
It means trust, communication. It means pleasure, pain and excitment. I don’t think it needs a specific label, a title for everyone. It’s freedom to be you, an art of expression.
Bondage Dominance/Discipline Sadism Masochism – Beauty Darkness Sensations Memories.

I think I’m going to go find my paddle and assume the position now…

13 Responses to Four Simple Letters..

  1. ladypandorah

    Interesting reflective post. When I first consider BDSM I fall into the category of the feelings and sensations you list. I respond to it emotionally and viscerally before I can think of implements.

    I really like your new little acronym at the end here, beauty and darkness : a great combination to describe the experiences.

    LadyP x

    • Miss Whispers Post author

      Thank you 🙂 I didn’t know where I was headed with it at first, as BDSM can mean so many things to each person.


  2. Molly

    I couldn’t agree more “I don’t think it needs a specific label, a title for everyone. It’s freedom to be you, an art of expression.” what a great way to sum it up


    • Miss Whispers Post author

      Thank you, Molly. I seem to be against labels so much these days, and with BDSM, many people try and stick so many on those in the lifestyle xx

  3. Marie Rebelle

    I think you have sum things up in this post – things people should read, whether they are in the lifestyle or not!

    Like Molly, I like: “It’s freedom to be you, an art of expression.”

    Rebel xox

  4. johndstories

    You said that BDSM has become a catch-all term for all non-vanilla sex and can see that. Never really thought of it before that it is used beyond its intended meaning.

    Great post. Agree totally with the bit about “trust”; wouldn’t want just anyone having that power over me!

    • Miss Whispers Post author

      From the original term to the more modern day term, I believe that the meaning of BDSM has broadened greatly, but that’s purely my view.

      Thank you, it’s a piece I’m truly proud of x

  5. KaziG

    Ooo, I love your take on the acronym… I am definitely all about the beauty, darkness and sensation, and the memories of a session keep me going until the next time Sir and I can get together 🙂

    ~Kazi xxx

  6. l0rdraven

    “it means trust, communication. It means pleasure, pain and excitement. I don’t think it needs a specific label, a title for everyone. It’s freedom to be you, an art of expression.’
    Wonderfully said. thank you for sharing

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