Slut.. According to the Oxford dictionary it is a derogatory term for a woman with lots of sexual partners.

A slut is a woman who likes sex, enjoys sex and isn’t ashamed to admit it. She is easy and gets around or frigid as she refuses to sleep with everything with a pulse, open to be attacked and the subject of many opinions. She. A slut is female. Men aren’t seen as sluts, let alone labelled as one. Slept with 40 women?What a guy. Slept with the same amount of people as a woman, woah, you slut!!! Harsh much?

Over the years I’ve been called a slut for various reasons. I’m a tall and busty girl, a little too squishy in the centre but I own a killer set of legs. I often wear skirts over trousers, and I’m not afraid to embrace my cleavage on the odd night out. Apparently this has made me a slut on so many occassions. God forbid I flash a bit of flesh, yet I’m not one to go out with it all on show. I have had a varied and amazing sex life, so I must be a slut. I love erotica and am a kinkster, so automatically I am a filthy slut who must always be “up for it” and when I’m not, I become a “frigid slut” or a cocktease. Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know I was here for your amusement and am to bend to the will of every person on the planet. Men and women have called me a slut over the years, and it’s a term I’ve often let bounce off,  it’s a word, not a label for me.

I asked my main twitter followers what makes a woman a slut. I smiled and felt so proud when the most common answer was “nothing” . It is a term often used as an insult, yet some say it should be a badge of honour.  Many see it as an outdated term, used towards a woman who dares to think or mention her love of sex, its seen as a sexist attack and as a double standard.  I don’t need a label to be proud of loving sex, whether with one person or many man or women or both. My sexual life and choices are just those. Mine. This doesn’t mean I’m a slut. It means I’m just a modern woman who is comfortable with her choices.

The term slut appears everywhere these days. The song on this page is one of my favourites, I feel Pink has the perfect attitude and this is a kind of “fuck you and your stereotyping”. Rizzle Kicks released Lost Generation and I clapped when I first heard the words “what’s wrong if a girl loves sex, it’s only wrong if it’s not with you, so maybe you should get better in bed” I salute you boys, for pointing out that being a slut is all good if you’re male in societies eyes, but not if you’re female. Loving sex shouldn’t carry different stigmas for different genders.

I’m not a fan of the term slut, but there is something I despise a lot more. And I mean a lot. Slut-shaming. When did it become acceptable to attack a woman based on her sexual likes or desires. Her thoughts, attitudes or even her way of dressing..

“Look at her skirt, the dumb slut”

“You don’t want to fuck me? What makes a slut like you think you’re worthy of me anyway”

“Another man? Wow, you are such a slut!”

“How many guys is that slut going to talk to tonight? Who doies she think she is?!”

Slut shaming is so wide spread these days, from celebrities to your girl next door. Admit you are bisexual and the media will climb over it like flies over crap. Bi? Oooh, such a slutty way of life! unable to settle? tut tut, such a loose woman…slut.  Girls who post pictures on any social media platform are likely to be subjected to slut shaming, whether by jealousy or just pure childish behaviour. No one should judge how a girl or guy chooses to be. If they want to be open to sex, then salute them! Enjoy experimenting? Carry on!! But don’t ever feel you should conform to a label. Small mindedness is still far too common in this day and age, with people being attacked for their choices, their lifestyles. Screw the petty individuals.

Guess what, world. I’m SJ and I really, really love sex.

Am I a slut? no, as Pink said herself…I’m not a slut, I just love, love.